SEVERAL VERY SILLY PEOPLE

PERSON ONE: "Hello, what is the tie?"

PERSON TWO: "Er, this is brushed silk with a green paisley pattern."

PERSON ONE: "Oh dear, sorry, no, I actually wanted to ask what hour it is. You see I have difficulties with the letter that appears after Ell and before Enn."

PERSON TWO: "Oh, you mean Em?  Hello? He's Painted!!!"

PERSON THREE: "Don't you mean 'Fainted'? Good God, now he's fainted! That's incrediJul!"

PERSON FOUR: "Don't you mean incredi – you're going to faint if I finish that word, aren't you?"

PERSON THREE: "Er yes actually, thanks so much for not saying it."

PERSON FOUR: "Just as a matter of interest what would you call the insect that pollinates Flowers'?"

Person three: "Oh easy, a Jee."

PERSON FOUR: "How about the Hamlet soliloquy?"

Person three: "To Jee or not to Jee? No ProJlem."

PERSON FOUR: "Here's a hard one: oven cooked haricots in tomato sauce?"

Person three: "Jaked Jeans, of course!"

PERSON FOUR: "This is ridiculous! Buggar off, you Bloody Buffoon!"

Person three: THUD!